"Be careful, they stone intellectuals in this town."

Tom Rudolf, of the Anitquarium Book Store said those words to me about 12 years ago after I purchased a copy of 'The Tropic of Cancer' from him and it has always stuck with me. In fact, I made a t-shirt of it and used to wear it when I worked at La Buvette. Hilarious, because it says "BE CAREFUL" on the front which sends the perfect message to patrons and the Buv. Proceed with caution, because these waiter bite!

Today, I had the pleasure of spending a couple of hours with Tom in the relocated Antiquarium in Brownville NE. I am an absolute junky for his rare book collection, his beat writing collection and his literary journals. Heavenly.

Here is what I picked up, if you are looking for a Summer loaner!

Indian Journals Allen Ginsberg
Suppressed Books Alec Craig
A Passage to India E.M. Forster
The Devil Three Jerzy Kosinski
Women of the Beat Generation Brenda Knight
and! a 1924 printing of The Ballad of Reading Gaol  Oscar Wilde

I didn't do too bad, I think:) On the indie-book track, I founder out there is an writers conference in Brownville this September. I will definitely be making an effort to attend that event. If the event is a drag, I can always spend my time basking in the shelves at the Antiquarium and shooting the philosophical shit with Tom.

Where do you write?

Here is a little snapshot of my writing desk. This is the second location of my desk. It used to be in a little office and I almost never went in there. There was something way too pompish about the office, so I moved the desk into my dining room, in hopes of re-energizing the spot.

Fail.

My house is soon to be transitioning, again. Moving back into a larger bedroom and I am moving my desk with me. Not sure what I am trying to force here. Habit? discipline? Progress? I have a firm idea, or at a least setting of where my next writing project will take place. Hoping this Summer will be fruitful creatively and I can transition somewhat from my flaccid self-promotion campaign and finally start working on the next project.

Writing is strange though. I definitely carve writing-time out of the desiccated husk of my 'free time'. Usually, I find myself in the kitchen, or at the dining room table, a coffee shop... basically any other space then the one I set out to write in. I like my desk. I like my stuff. Its all pretty welcoming. Don't write there.

Perhaps the struggle is less about a writing desk, and more about where I feel home. Home has been dense and difficult for me to navigate the last several years. I am trying to put the best foot forward, but only clouds ahead. Which is to say, low visibility.

Where do you write I wonder? Do you have a special pen? A journal? I've written in a dozen different forms and formats and have developed no stuck behavior. No special objects. I guess there is no thing, no magic to summon the words. They just build themselves in a little house of cards and come tumbling down when they're ready. Who am I to go flinging marbles into things?

Enders Gay

Going off topic this post to meditate on Orson Scott Card's recent press. So Ender's Game is pretty awesome. I was two books into the series and enjoying the heck out of it when I heard the news: O.S.C is a libertine (no big deal. annoying. whatever) and then... he is openly and actively and quite outspoken against Gay Marriage. Hmm, that sucks. DC recently dropped him, as the writer of a new superman series. Ender's Game is coming to the big screen in November....what am I going to do?

AHHH! A dork in crisis! I love all of these books and movies and characters. To make matters worse, I am the worst kind of moral relativist. Name someones' shitty behavior and I will find some rationalization for them. Although, I am totally against violent crime and war, I will most likely find a way to understand what led this person or nation to this act and even if I can understand why, extend them compassion and even try to forgive them.

Perhaps this is because I am such a messed up and confused, contradictory and hypocritical monkey. I just figure everyone is messed up, cause we are human, and it is not for me to judge how anyone else copes with the daily pain of living.

So, how does O.S.C write something as awesome and winning as Ender's Game end up a homophobe? Well, it is strangely all there. I just bit the bullet and read the 3rd book (Speaker for the Dead) in the ender series and sure enough, there is a world view, secretly guiding the reader... and is all crackerjacks. This is male-gaze happening, to me, in real time. Damn it.

The proof of this is in the fact that 3000 years has passed and every human settlement still acts like earth. The setting is sci-fi, but the characters and story are all 1950's america propaganda, which is pretty good stuff (MADMEN anybody?) but come on. We are already post sex = babies. Post gender. Post gender-necessitated reproduction. O.S.C is a great writer, but he is no visionary. William Gibson writes sic-fi, as in the Future, not a Retrospective that completely ignores that science is making all these issues mute over the next 50 years, much less the next 3000.

AND! there is a bunch of homo-erotiscm! The Piggies and Ender are having a huge touchy love fest by the end and don't tell me it is pure and innocent machismo man-love. Don't tell me you haven't read the Illiad O.S.C and don't tell me those men weren't having hard-core, emotionally available man sex.

Helen may have launched 10 thousand ships but Patroclus catalyzed the murder and burning of Troy. Consummated Man Love.

In conclusion:
O.S.C doesn't even know that his narrator is gay. I said it. Ender Wiggin is Gay. Which, per usual, (see michaelangelo, wilde etc...) means that the greatest Man of his age was Gay.

Now, myself... I don't actually think gay is that useful of a term. I think it is a linguistic function used to control people, by giving them a simple identity that can be understood and controlled. There is nothing simple about being a human. Nothing simple about sexuality, religion, family, self, war, hate, life. So, catch a clue O.S.C. I am glad you are not writing Superman. Because some great men I know are Gay AND they come from Kypton and you would probably just write them out of the story. Lame on you, but I still like your books, if only because you couldn't stop writing gay characters if you tried. Novihina and Ender happily married...? Wow, that was convenient.

For more fascinating thoughts and observations about O.S.C for you now-ashamed Ender's Game fans...

http://www.salon.com/2013/03/07/end_game_for_orson_scott_card_partner/